Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Cauldron Problem

Now, I have to tell you that I'm a wee bit worried about one of my fellow Clockwork guys, that man being one Matthew Sturges Esq. You see, Matt was just about this time yesterday, expressing his bafflement and sorrow at the dearth of postings here on the ol' blog as of late. He railed at the slovenly habits of the new Clockworkers, who've hardly posted at all, except to (rather timidly) announce that they exist. And while I fully agree with Matt that the new folks better step up pretty damn quick, I understand that they are a humble lot, still sorting out their place in the grand Tick Tock world. It may take some time for them to feel at home enough here to wade in often and with the unbridled enthusiasm of us old hands.

And truth be told, I suspect Matt was also feeling more than a bit chagrined that he hasn't posted here too often of late.

So what did Matt do?

He boldly swore, by the grand and frosty Beard of Odin, that he would post something here on the blog today.

But he hasn't posted yet, has he? No, he hasn't. In fact he's already making excuses. "You see," says he, "there was this thing with the doorknob on my house. It just fell off and I had to get that fixed. But I'm no handyman, and fixing it took all day, so I don't think I can get to the blog thing today."

And I suspect, after making his promise yesterday, seeing that Chris Roberson had just posted something took quite of bit of the pressure off to post his own post.

But here's the thing, Matt. You swore on Odin's Beard. ON ODIN'S BEARD! Do you know what happens to oath breakers in the viking afterlife? They end up boiling for all time in a big black cauldron, while Garm and the other giant witch dogs come along from time to time and eat them alive. Always boiling, always eaten, but never fully devoured and always fully conscious the entire time.

You don't want that, Matt, do you?

For your own good, get your post on. Don't end up in the oathbreakers cauldron.


  1. Jesus, Matt you swore!! And on Odin's Beard, yet!!!

  2. I once swore 'By the Soup Caught in Odin's beard!' but I had been drinking.

  3. You say Oathbreakers Cauldron.

    I see Hot Tub Party with Nordic Blondes...